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A usual day for grocery shopping? Not.

As I slammed down the door, my 80 year-old mother screamed after me, “DON’T FORGET THE CRACKERS!!” So at 1 in the morning my mother sent me out for crackers for some food craving–and she’s not even pregnant.light

So I went to Walmart. Inside, walking around the “junk foods” section I stopped and stared in amazement. Two groups of couples were having a grocery cart race! As I watched, the two guys climbed into their carts, then the girls pushed as hard as they could then start their cheerleading routine. As the two guys zoomed down the main isle one smashed into a cash register.

Then a sleepy voice announced over the speakerphones, “the gwuy with the fat belly is winner. He wins a year’s swupply of Rits crackers.” The guy who didn’t smash himself into the cash register stood up and yelled “I won!” The other started yelling insanities and started trowing anything at the winner–cans, boxes, fruits–anything he could get his hands on. Pretty soon a couple of employees dragged him and his girl outside of the store .

But seeing that gave me an idea. I saw our next door neighbors, Diane and Cole Smit walking down the “Movies” isle. I discreetly gabbed a box of Ritz cracker, and walked over to where they were. Cole was looking at a cover of a dvd and yawning incessantly. I came up and said “Hey Cole, Hey Diane!”

“Hey,” yawned Cole.

“Oh hey girl! What are you doing here at his time of night? Can’t sleep?” asked Diane. She seemed very hyper. I guess she had too much chocolate. I remember seeing Cole buying a huge box of chocolates the other day. I guess it was for their wedding anniversary.

“No, not really. What about you? Had too much chocolate?”

Her face grew red, signaling that I hit bulls eye.

“Hey, isn’t that Jacky Chan over there? Omg it’s Jacky Chan!!” I yelled, and started jumping up and down, faking my performance quite nicely, I thought.

She gasped, and dropped the two dvds she had in her hands. “Where? Where?” she screeched, letting all the effects of the chocolates show through. I slipped the Ritz box of crackers in her basket. Even Cole has stopped yawning and was looking for Jacky Chan, so I think my performance had been first-class.

“Just kidding!” I said with a big smile and a wink. Diane’s face grew so red it looked like the setting sun. I ran and disappeared around the next corner before she could say another word.

I grabbed more Ritz boxes and continued to search for more victims. I would bump into people, trip them, or distract them by shooting one of those kiddie arrows and making heavy objects like soup cans come thundering down to the ground. And then I’d always slip in the Ritz cracker box when they’re weren’t looking. After about 1 hour of hard work I had got every customer in the store.

When I got home, I heard yells coming out of Diane’s and Cole’s house. Me and my mother opened our back door and heard,

“What do you mean you didn’t buy this? I thought we were in a committed relationship that involved to NOT lying to each other! WHY are you LYING to me?” obviously that came from Diane.

“Well, I’m not lying, and I didn’t buy the darn crackers! Would you leave me ALONE! You won’t let me sleep, you won’t let me do anything! And DON”T start blaming my mother!” yelled Cole.

“I’m not talking about your stupid mother! I’m talking about YOU!” yelled Diane.

“There you go blaming my mother again! Would you stop–!”

There was a thudding noise, and yelp, and slammed door and the sound of a car starting and zooming off.

“AND DON’T COME BACK!” screamed Cole out his front door.

Me and my mother looked at each other in opened-mouth surprise.

“Oops!” I said to myself.”Amazing what you can do with a box of crackers.”

~~from the observing antennas of a butterfly…

condron.us

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“The best readers are obstinate. They possess a nearly inexhaustible persistence that drives them to read, regardless of the circumstances they find themselves in.”

Doesn’t that just pull you in?

What you just read was the begining of awonderfull article by Mandy Brown, “In Defence Of Readers”. For writers, and website dysiners alike. Go ahead, indulge yourself, and read it already!

Why are you still on this page? Why are you still reading what I’m writing?

Sorry, I felt like teasing you today.

Go on, read the article! “In Defence Of Readers”.

~~from the smiling butterfly... oh wait, butterflys don’t smile! Ok, let’s try that again…

~~from the happy butterfly… yeah, thats better.

http://aphainventions.com

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too fast

Fast-paced life? This might just be the idea for you.

Freelancing Fun On Fridays

I think Jennie Cromie might be on to something.

I just love her idea. It’s mostly for freelancing writers, but I think it will go with anyone that has a hectic schedule in general.

I wonder how long that squirrel has been learning to skateboard? (I’m referring to the picture in her article)

Enjoy and tell me what you think, people! Don’t be shy. 🙂

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Ever wondered whether you should do freelance writing? For all you undecideds, here are a few pros and cons:

  • Flexibility. Busy with a part-time job, maybe? Or a mom, or just busy in general… you get to choose what you do, your pay, and your terms.
  • Unreliability. Sometimes even professionals get a hard time landing a job. If you want some help, I recommend reading this: How to land a freelancing  job.
  • Freedom. (Hence the “free” in “freelancing”) You can be doing an editing gig, at the same time be doing a blog job, and be writing a book all at the same time.
  • Unstable. Sometimes you might not find many jobs and so settle for a low paying one, while you could be doing something else for a lot more bucks. The key: keep trying!
  • Writing love. Love sports? You can get paid to write about it! (and there are many jobs in that category, mostly in blogging). First and foremost: if you ant too be a blogger, get your own blog. You can use WordPress, to start out, since it’s free. If you want a blog or website that’s more sofisticated, and don’t mind paying about 10 bucks a moth, try Siteground.
  • Wasted time. If your the impatiant type, don’t write. It’s not for you. Writing, freelance writing is a job that takes paitiance. And writing lots of emails, and taking lots of rejection. But once you get past a cetain rough spot, it’s awesome!

For you all that are starting out, add theise website to your bookmarks:

Freelance writing jobs

About freelance writinggood old-fashioned writing

Writers weekly ~~to find jobs–look for forum–freelancing jobs

The write jobs

All freelance writing

These aren’t exactly job websites, but they have great stuff to read that go along well with your morning coffee or tea. Watch out: they might inspire you!

Flurb

Poewar

The orphan

WOW! Women on writing

The golden pencil ~~well, it use to be call that before it changed hosting sites….

So, if you decided to become a freelancing writer, all I can say is:

write well,

write loud,

and write often.

~~from the flying butterfly…

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Owl people

Life is weird, isn’t it? Especially when you fall asleep at 6 am and wake up at 5pm.

It’s the way of the insomniac.

Speaking of insomniacs-I’ve heard Mark LaFlame’s book The Pink Room is pretty good. If you read this article right here: Insomia Breeds Novel Thoughts By Mark LaFlamme, you’ll see that he’s an insomniac. I am too.

And I’m writing a book.

It would be nice if all insomniacs were great writers. Well, about my book; It’s a mystery story. I’ve never written a mystery before and I thought it would be fun. I’ve just started, so it my take a while to finish.

Oh and check this out: Why Pride and Prejudice?

from the butterfly…

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